So you’re tired of dating losers and you want to find the perfect man? What do you mean by “perfect” man? That’s something you should think about.
The first thing you can do to stop dating losers is to stop hanging around with losers. Don’t go to bars where people go just to pick each other up. Find some new, more wholesome hobbies. Join a bowling league, or take some classes (where you might meet interesting men who are intelligent and want to learn things), or go to the library or join a book club. [RELATED: Where to Meet Quality Single Guys ]
Work on making yourself a more fun, attractive person. If you haven’t gotten out of the house in a while, shut off your computer and your TV and go outside. Take a walk or a bike ride, alone or with friends. Join a gym – not to sculpt your body into some ideal of beauty, though it doesn’t hurt – but to get a boost of endorphins that exercise gives you. Endorphins are the body’s natural “happy pills.” Just working out once gives you a boost of them, and regular exercise can actually change your personality and give you a happier outlook on life.
Men are attracted to happy, lively, interesting women… women who have a life and don’t depend on a relationship with a man to fix all their problems and make their life worth living. It won’t take a guy long to tell if you’re looking for a relationship that will solve all your problems. That’s a heavy burden to put on another person – if I date you, all the problems in my life will be solved.
Try solving your own problems instead. Look for a boyfriend to complement your life, not one to fix your life. By having some fun, taking some adventures, learning new things, you will become a better, more interesting person and will be likely to appeal to “Mr. Right” when he comes along.
If you have character defects you’d like to work on – a short temper, a tendency to nasty gossip, whatever – then work on them. Practice being the person you want to be. Look for strong, interesting women to admire and emulate.
Don’t obsess over your looks and your figure. At the same time, though, don’t just let yourself go. No man likes that. Sure, you don’t look like the models in fashion magazines, but nobody does. Focus on your own attractive features and emphasize them, but don’t go crazy about it. Ask advice from your friends about how to dress to show off what you’ve got (classy, but not slutty, unless you want to keep dating those losers).
Remember though, that the most attractive thing about you is your smile and your personality. If you don’t have that, you may turn a man’s head, but you won’t keep him around for a real relationship. By having a fun and interesting life, you make yourself much more attractive.
Back to my first question – what do you mean by the “perfect” man anyway? Time to think about this important question. What do you want in a man? Good things to look for include intelligence, a good sense of humor, patience, ability to handle stress or pressure, desire to get married and have children, ability to express himself. That last one is important for the long haul – the “strong silent type” of Hollywood lore is just that, a fiction. No strong silent type is much fun to be around for years and years.
Figure out what sort of man you’re looking for, and what sort of relationship you are seeking. Then put yourself in situations where you’re likely to meet that type of man. What if your ex was the one who got away? Then try to see how he’s doing. Want a clean, sober, fun guy? A bar is probably not where you’ll find him. Looking for an active guy who loves sports – great, time for you to join a mixed softball league or sailing club, someplace where you’ll meet a man who likes to do sports and not just watch them on the couch. Want a brainiac? Well, time to join the chess club or sign up for some night or weekend classes at your local university or YMCA community center.
Be open to a new relationship without scheming and being desperate. If you focus on making your own life a fun, happy adventure, whether or not you are in a relationship, you will naturally attract good men who want to get to know you. Lastly, do all this when you’re good and ready.
Here’s hoping your Mr Perfect is just around the corner!