Hi guys! I’m Lisa Force, a relationship and dating coach… and in this video, I’m going to be talking about BREAKUPS. More specifically, I’m going to give you some advice on how to reverse your breakup and convince your ex to give you a second chance at love.
Now, the first thing you should do if you’ve decided you want to get back together with your ex is to decide whether this is actually the right decision in the first place. In other words, are you heartbroken because you miss your EX like crazy, or are you just longing for a loving relationship? Sometimes breakups can be for the best, so you should make sure that your ex really is the right person for you. Most of you watching this video have probably already done this and you’re dead-set on winning back your ex, so I won’t labour the point, but it’s definitely important so that you don’t end up getting back together only to break up again a few months down the road.
Now, let’s talk about what you can do to change your ex’s mind and rekindle the romance.
The first tip I’m going to give you is probably THE most important thing you’ll learn from this video, so please pay careful attention….
DO NOT — I repeat, DO NOT — contact your ex or do ANYTHING to try and win him or her back until you’ve done your homework and learned what NOT to do. Because quite honestly, most relationships are salvageable, and most couples can overcome a breakup… but so many men and women who’ve been dumped make stupid decisions and commit mistakes in the heat of the moment that completely ruin their chances of getting back together.
Before you do ANYTHING else to try and get your ex back, make sure you have a plan so that you don’t do something dumb that will push your ex further away. The things that you may think are logical steps to take to rekindle the romance with your ex are often the worst things you can do…. sending flowers, apologizing over and over, telling your ex how much you still love them… all of these may seem like things that will help your cause, but in actual fact they’re guaranteed to make the situation worse and hurt your chances.
There are plenty of books and programs out there that can guide you through the process of winning back your partner, and picking up a good one can make the difference between success and failure. Hands-down the best guide out there is Brad Browning’s “Ex Factor” program, because it’s based on relationship science and contains hundreds of real-world examples that will prepare you for any ‘what if’ situation you may face. Even if you’re not going to sign up for his program, you should definitely watch the in-depth video he’s posted for free on this website… I’ll post the link in the description section below, or you can just go to LisaForce.com/Breakups.
I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to make sure you know what you’re doing before you start doing things to try and rekindle the romantic spark with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend… if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, then you don’t want to screw that up by trying to ‘go it alone’ and end up making a mistake.
Now, with that important item out of the way, let’s move on to a few more important things you can do to help win back your boyfriend or girlfriend.
If you’ve done any reading about breakups on the internet already, you’ve probably heard people suggest something called the “no contact” strategy. This is a proven technique, and it’s worked for many of my clients in the past, so there’s no questioning it’s effectiveness. Basically, “no contact” means you leave your ex alone and don’t speak with them at all for a month after your breakup.
Why ignore your ex? You need to shock them into realizing how crappy and lonely life is without you by their side. If you call every day and keep in touch, you’re not only going to seem desperate and pathetic, but you’re also going to give them a chance to slowly let go of their feelings and help ease them into the single life. By not talking with them at all for a month, you’re cutting your ex off “cold turkey”, so they’ll definitely be in shock and start missing you like crazy.
And really, having your ex miss you is crucial. You need your boyfriend or girlfriend to decide on their own that the breakup was a stupid decision, and that’s not something you can do with words. Simply trying to convince your ex by begging, pleading, apologizing, and so on will do nothing to change their mind, and usually just reaffirms that the breakup was the right choice.