Hi guys! I’m Lisa Force, a relationship and dating coach… and in this video, I’m going to be talking about BREAKUPS. More specifically, I’m going to give you some advice on how to reverse your breakup and convince your ex to give you a second chance at love.
Now, the first thing you should do if you’ve decided you want to get back together with your ex is to decide whether this is actually the right decision in the first place. In other words, are you heartbroken because you miss your EX like crazy, or are you just longing for a loving relationship? Sometimes breakups can be for the best, so you should make sure that your ex really is the right person for you. Most of you watching this video have probably already done this and you’re dead-set on winning back your ex, so I won’t labour the point, but it’s definitely important so that you don’t end up getting back together only to break up again a few months down the road.
Now, let’s talk about what you can do to change your ex’s mind and rekindle the romance.
The first tip I’m going to give you is probably THE most important thing you’ll learn from this video, so please pay careful attention….
DO NOT — I repeat, DO NOT — contact your ex or do ANYTHING to try and win him or her back until you’ve done your homework and learned what NOT to do. Because quite honestly, most relationships are salvageable, and most couples can overcome a breakup… but so many men and women who’ve been dumped make stupid decisions and commit mistakes in the heat of the moment that completely ruin their chances of getting back together.
Before you do ANYTHING else to try and get your ex back, make sure you have a plan so that you don’t do something dumb that will push your ex further away. The things that you may think are logical steps to take to rekindle the romance with your ex are often the worst things you can do…. sending flowers, apologizing over and over, telling your ex how much you still love them… all of these may seem like things that will help your cause, but in actual fact they’re guaranteed to make the situation worse and hurt your chances.
There are plenty of books and programs out there that can guide you through the process of winning back your partner, and picking up a good one can make the difference between success and failure. Hands-down the best guide out there is Brad Browning’s “Ex Factor” program, because it’s based on relationship science and contains hundreds of real-world examples that will prepare you for any ‘what if’ situation you may face. Even if you’re not going to sign up for his program, you should definitely watch the in-depth video he’s posted for free on this website… I’ll post the link in the description section below, or you can just go to LisaForce.com/Breakups.
I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to make sure you know what you’re doing before you start doing things to try and rekindle the romantic spark with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend… if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, then you don’t want to screw that up by trying to ‘go it alone’ and end up making a mistake.
Now, with that important item out of the way, let’s move on to a few more important things you can do to help win back your boyfriend or girlfriend.
If you’ve done any reading about breakups on the internet already, you’ve probably heard people suggest something called the “no contact” strategy. This is a proven technique, and it’s worked for many of my clients in the past, so there’s no questioning it’s effectiveness. Basically, “no contact” means you leave your ex alone and don’t speak with them at all for a month after your breakup.
Why ignore your ex? You need to shock them into realizing how crappy and lonely life is without you by their side. If you call every day and keep in touch, you’re not only going to seem desperate and pathetic, but you’re also going to give them a chance to slowly let go of their feelings and help ease them into the single life. By not talking with them at all for a month, you’re cutting your ex off “cold turkey”, so they’ll definitely be in shock and start missing you like crazy.
And really, having your ex miss you is crucial. You need your boyfriend or girlfriend to decide on their own that the breakup was a stupid decision, and that’s not something you can do with words. Simply trying to convince your ex by begging, pleading, apologizing, and so on will do nothing to change their mind, and usually just reaffirms that the breakup was the right choice.
Hi Lisa, My name is Gerald and I want to get my ex-girlfriend back. We were friends for a good amount of time and started dating on June 17, 2013 and after about a year and 8 months she asked for space have been broken up since December 16, 2014. The main problem was that in the middle and towards the end we spent probably too much time together and communication about each other’s feelings started to decline. She has said that she now knows what she wants and that’s space so how can I reverse this and get her back. Honestly we had our spiffs as every relationship does but we never argued with each other. Our relationship was filled with love, passion, care, friendship, and it was beautiful and also the envy of other people who saw what we had. Now all she seems to remember are the small bad moments leading up to the end which is sad because it doesn’t do us the justice. Please help me Mrs. Lisa, I only see her. We were best friends and we fell in love with each other. She’s still in love with me she says but she wants space and time to focus on herself and get her individuality back as a woman but now she wants no contact. I need your help. Her name is Ariel
HI Lisa will this work if your still living together and sleeping in same bed. In defacto relationship with my gf for 28 years [we have 2 boys 18 and 12yo]. She says she doesn’t love me same anymore after i got on a f**k buddy site ONCE when i was very bored and lonely and of course she found out. This was 4 years ago, then i found out she was texting a guy from her work, when i found out asked her how he got her no said someone from work must have gave it to him, dont think so. She said she was very upset when she found out what i did and he saw this and comforted her, what does that mean. Then every time she went to gym he walked in within 2 minutes and out the same, no matter what time but she says she wasn’t talking to him. Then recently just before xmas saw them in her car together even though she says she was having no contact with him. I confronted them in car and started shouting at them. Xmas of course was terrible and new years day she says she wants to move out even though she hasn’t as yet. She is very cold towards me talks to me very little and spends 99.9% of her time in bedroom when home when i am in lounge. Bought her flowers and card for valentines day, she says she doesn’t want anything card hasn’t even been opened. What to do Lisa your advice would be much appreciated. Have found the guys home no already knew his mobile from the texts messages 4 years earlier should i ring his home no let his wife know what is going on. Cheers