I know you love your spouse, but sometimes you just want to rip their heads off, right? Hi, my name is Lisa Force and I’m a relationship coach and dating guru. And in this YouTube video, I’m going to talk about how to argue less with your spouse.
This is a subject that can be a little touchy for many couples – after all, you’re always right…right? Although we all hate arguing, you have to accept the fact that arguments are inevitably bound to happen.
One relationship author once said that “everybody argues in a marriage, but it’s a matter of how you deal with it that matters.” And sometimes a few very small adjustments to how you approach an oncoming argument can make a world of a difference. So without delaying any further, let’s just jump right into it this quick video.
Tip number one – make it known to your partner that you would like to argue less. Your partner needs to make a conscious effort to try and argue less. Remember, in a marriage, you’re a team! In order for the team to function and work properly, everybody, including your partner, needs to play ball. So when you two aren’t fighting, just lightly bring up the subject and tell him or her that you would really like to work on that issue. By taking the initiative and showing that you care, you partner will be more inclined to try his or her best too.
Tip number two – take breaks. Arguing with your spouse is inevitable. It’s going to happen one way or another. So when it does, you need to lessen its intensity. One of the best ways to do this is to take a short break during a fight to calm your nerves. Don’t just simply walk out of the room without explanation (otherwise your partner might get even angrier), but tell your partner that you need to take a minute breather before re-engaging. Not only will this help to calm your nerves, but this will help to calm your partner’s nerves as well.
Tip number three – take responsibility for your part in the fight. I know, it can be the most difficult thing in the world to admit that you’re wrong about anything. When you’re in a heated argument with someone, the desire to “be right” can trump anything and everything – even your partner’s feelings. See, the thing is, being right is never as satisfying as you make it out to be in your mind. Instead of continuing to battle with your partner, put your swords down and own up to what you did wrong. This takes even more courage than simply battling on, and couples who learn how to do this argue less and have happier marriages.
Tip number four, don’t be afraid to go to bed angry. There are some couples that say the secret to a good marriage is to never go to bed angry. However, sometimes going to bed angry is exactly what’s needed to calm those nerves. It allows you and your partner to clear your minds and get some sleep. Usually, once you wake up, you’ll realize how stupid the fight was. Now before I get into this any further, I have to shamelessly plug my channel – if you want to receive more free helpful relationship videos, then please click the subscribe button. That way you can stay up to date with the latest and greatest relationship advice from yours truly! Also, if you like this video, then don’t hesitate to click on that “like” button right below. Thanks!
Tip number five, use humor! Instead of screaming at your partner because you’re angry at him or her, make a joke. If you know the issue isn’t the biggest deal in the world, then just make a friendly jab at your spouse. This way you get the point across in a fun and much less offensive way. Sometimes laughter is the best way to get over conflict.
Tip number six, just touch one another. When things start getting out of hand, hold your partners hand or embrace one another. If you know that discussing the matter doesn’t help, connecting via touch can be one of the most helpful ways to recover.