Have you noticed that even though dating has become more complicated, men still seem to complain less about it than women?
In a time where we have more ways to meet people than ever before, why is it that women still find the process harder than what it should be?
Yet men seem to be able to cruise along and enjoy the dating phase more so?
The truth is when men go on a first date there are only two things that they look for.
And it’s the simplicity of these two things that help keep them present and not attach an unmet expectation to the date.
As women, we love to jump ahead and feel like we have to have a definite answer about the person in front of us without even knowing much about them.
In fact, 43% of us are guilty of Googling our dates before we have even met them, which of course builds assumptions and leads to a lot of expectations that are already placed on the outcome of the date before it has even happened!
So, what then are these two things men look for?
When a guy goes on a date he is essentially wanting to have some sort of connection or chemistry with that person.
“Aren’t we all?!” say all the women around the world!
Yes, the difference is, is that men aren’t necessarily looking for an emotional connection that then makes them think this is possible wife material.
In fact, what he is instinctively looking for is a woman whom he feels physically attracted, but who also offers him something that enhances that attraction which is simply by proposing him a challenge.
Whilst men are built to hunt, we assume that looks are what causes a man to pursue us.
Initially he is drawn to us because of his physical need, however a connection will only be felt when he sees the woman as someone who is able to offer him a positive challenge.
If you are purely relying on your looks to create chemistry with a man on a first date, you will be doing yourself a disservice.
Hunting a woman isn’t just about the prize for a man – it’s the chase that makes him drawn to wanting a second and third date with her.
And when he feels that he is a) physically attracted to her, and b) given a challenge, that’s when his instincts will send the signal to his brain that he has a connection with this woman.
And more often than not it is the challenge that makes him even more connected and attracted to a woman.
Because men are wired to chase and conquer, he will be subconsciously looking for things about a woman that encourage those manly needs.
When everything is handed to them on a silver platter, men will get bored and not want to continue to invests or date that woman.
The second thing he will want to try and work out on this date is, if you are a woman whom he is able to discover over time.
Leaving some mystery about yourself sends the signal to him that he has to do something to discover more about you, which in turn once again creates a challenge for him to conquer and creates chase.
This in turn makes dating fun, exciting and an adventure because it requires more of him and piques his masculine side.
It’s also something that gives us women time to really work out who the man is behind the chase and if he is also worth investing into.
Most of the time, men are only taking each date at a time, whilst they may be conscious of one day settling down, frequently they don’t think about that when initially dating.
In fact, they just assume that when they meet the right woman, they will act upon the thought then.
So, what can we learn from this?
If we too as women are able to simply what we look for in a first date, it means we can stay present and focus more on how we feel about that person and if there is potential for a second date.
The less complicated your mind-set is when you meet someone, the more likely you will be able to enjoy yourself and work out if you should continue to see them or not.
So instead of getting frustrated that men don’t communicate what they want or need form the first date, take a page out of their book and learn to look at first dates as merely a chance to get to know the layers of someone a step at a time whilst working out if you enjoy it and them as you do it.